Fairy Tales...

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Fairy tales...

We all want them, I have watched 'Love Actually' a million times, and it gets me every time - the scene at the start where everyone jumps up and starts playing a musical instrument at the wedding; when Colin Firth bursts into the restaurant Aurelia is working in and proposes to her in broken propose, and of course when the guy who is in love with his best friend's girlfriend stands outside her door with the signs... 


How can any girl not love any of these?... 

I have always battled with myself in terms of thinking whether I am a romantic, or a cynic... I love all of these notions, and I always thought I wanted my life to be like a fairy tale or a musical - being that I love singing and Glee is my guilty pleasure, I often spend my days wiling away hours, picturing walking through a mall with a guy then all of a sudden a good looking group of people (that look 17, but are in truth 30) jump out in front, then the guy holding my hands joins them and starts singing "teenage dream"... (ok not the best choice of song, but it has been stuck in my head for some reason today)

Or maybe, a guy that I lock eyes with across the floor just before I leave the bar, somehow finds me weeks later only to tell me that ever since he seen me he can't stop thinking about anything else, and all of a sudden we are pashing faces like a couple of school kids behind the dentist building (that is where we used to do it at my Primary School, except it was a quick kiss on the lips or cheek then run away - way more innocent back then).

So while these are all very romantic thoughts...

If I look at some of the moments in my life, they could have been something out of a fairytale or RomCom..

Example 1: For 3months, once a month a bunch of flowers arrived at my work for me, with a random note, but I never found out who it was, was that the love of my life that never had the balls to reveal themself, or just a wealthy stalker?....

Example 2: I had had a really rough day, I was sick, late for work so I jumped on a tram without a ticket, got busted... you know the usual shitty day that just kept getting progressively worse. A bus ride in the rain back home and I had no umbrella to walk from the bus stop to my house - I get off the bus only to find the guy that I was with at the time (my now ex fiancee) standing in the rain with an umbrella and gorgeous bouquet of flowers for me, just because... This is the same guy that would sometimes just leave poems for me to find...

Example 3: A guy I met at a bar for 5mins that got my name and number; lost his phone and tracked me down 2weeks later on facebook (sounds stalkerish, but turns out his sister-in-law had mutual friends with me and took it upon herself to help him find me) because I had made an "impression" on him...

All of this and I am sure there is so much more in there, so I can hardly complain that I have had it tough. 

So am I a romantic or a cynic? Or both? Do fairytales just finish too early before we see what really happens, the day-to-day. Maybe Cinderella and Prince charming are happy for a month or so, before he gets bored because he got the beautiful maiden, mission accomplished. So he starts coming home later and later at night - one night with an extraordinarily piece of large blonde hair on his coat - turns out he has been climbing a tower somewhere...

Surely Sleeping Beauty was written by a man, she clearly just wasn't in the mood. So some guy thought it would be genius to make up this analogy, that when the Prince kissed her, she woke up and they lived happily ever after. Don't know about you ladies, but if I really wasnt in the mood and my guy tried planting a big wet sloppy one on me while I was asleep, I would not be too impressed...

So they show us the first image:                                   But don't show us the real response after:










p.s. does nobody else think this is kind of creepy - guy climbing in the room and kissing someone that is asleep...


As well as the genuine romantic notions I have had in my life, I have had a fair share of the douches too - there was my first boyfriend that cheated on me for years, with one of my 'best friends' at high school; the guy who was seeing me, but secretly hitting on another of my best friends - uni; the guy who used to hang out with me, hook up with me, 'loved me, but couldn't be with  me' - nor did he want anyone else to be with me...

So it is balanced between the dream guys vs. the douches; yet here I am, still single. Which makes me think that I must be more of a cynic at my core, or am just expecting something unrealistic - like the beginning of the fairy tale without seeing what happens after the credits have finished rolling. A guy recently asked me "do you believe you deserve love and to be loved?" - This was a very deep and insightful question considering it was 3am and we had been drinking whiskey all night. But the honest answer is... I'm really not sure. I would like to believe that I do, but part of me feels that maybe I don't deserve love for some reason; another part of me feels that maybe there just isn't someone out there for me, that can keep up with me, match my crazy rhythm  and the last part - again relates to 'How I met your mother' and Robyn (hence the over emotional reaction to this episode the other night, because it REALLY just spoke to me... have to laugh at the female mind again here) - that there is a lot I want to achieve in this life, and really want to make a difference somehow, so maybe this is a journey I can only go along; as anything else would distract me from why I am here...

Ok all very deep thoughts, and I can keep it coming at ya, but for fear of completely losing the maybe 2 people that will ever read this I will finish with this song...







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