The close of Italian chapter. Day 14

My last night is finally here, not that it hasn't been an amazing adventure - I have been incredibly lucky with the people I have met, especially Linda; but it is definitely time or me to move on, I have overstayed my welcome for sure, but am also just getting itchy feet to get stuck into something and not have to rely on anyone else!

I have some drinks with some tour leaders (TL) from TravelX that have turned up - there is 3 of them that I actually trained with, which is really nice to see them. They are actually friendlier towards me and more excited to see me than the cooks on site that I had also trained with. One of the tour leaders actually asks me about this, saying that she noticed how 'off' they were towards me... Thankfully! That means it has not just been in my head. They barely had anything to do with me the entire time, and when I was sitting with them and other road crew they made a point of talking over me, or talking about people and TravelX stuff that I wouldn't know about. And this TL says that when I left the table and someone mentioned me, one of the girls snapped ''she's not crew!'' It was so bizarre, had the shoe been on the other foot, there is no way I would have ever treated them like they don't belong.

In saying this though, these girls on site were probably the only 3 I would choose to never work with; 2 of them were just extremely negative the entire training trip. The kind of people that have to have one up on you, and you know that even if they are nice to you, that as soon as you turn your back, they would be bitching about you. Majority of the road crew I have met were amazing, lovely people, but some of the managers were the bitchiest people I have ever met, like I said it was like being back in Highschool, and clearly these girls are shaping up to be exactly like that - and I can't help but think if this is the kind of attitude and people that TravelX want representing them, then I am glad I was kicked off. I guess their being extremely rude to me, was their way of making it very obvious that they were crew and I was not - like they were all of a sudden better than me - all I can say is some kids just never leave the playground.

Anyway, it was nice that someone else noticed and I could vent, because I hadn't wanted to bring this up with Linda as she was working on site and I didn't want to taint her image or relationship with these girls.

The night ends with me, James (one of the TravelX road cooks that I had met on the training trip, and who I was going to be placed with in Lauterbrunnen had I not got kicked off...), Linda, and the bartender having some more drinks outside our cabins.

I walk James back to his cabin as he is legless (pretty stoked that it's not me for once). I promise to get up and help him prepare breakfast in the morning. I head back to our cabins and it is just the bartender up, we chat a bit more, drink a bit more, listen to some music - then, yip, you guessed it, lets call him Marco - tells me he wants to kiss me... I say no, trying to give my reasons - which are starting to sound more and more ridiculous the more I have to keep saying it. At this point I am starting to question my own reasons for saying no, why am I judging myself so harshly, shouldn't I be having a little fun?? But I stick to my guns, and maintain my 'no'.

Marco just laughs and tells me I am strange, then he also says something quite interesting, that 'inside my eyes he can see two people..' and I can't help but think that this probably isn't far from the truth.. the ying and yang if you will, inside each of us every moment we are capable of being good or bad. And from all of my previous experiences, it is my drunk self, the ego, that tries to tip this balance in favor of a darker nature if I am not careful..

He finishes by telling me that I am a good person though, which is an ending I will claim and am happy with. I take myself to bed before drunken Tash kicks in and decides to throw all self-control out of the window (I may be trying to avoid boys, but I am still just a girl, and we all love affection and passion...).

It is 3am and just before I crash out I smile inwardly about the two weeks that have just been, what I have gone through, and where I am heading next. It is sad that this Italian chapter is coming to an end, but I am extremely excited for the next chapter. There is still a slight pang of guilt over how much Linda has helped me, and can only hope she realizes how grateful I am, but I know without a doubt that I would do the same for anyone else if I were in a position where I could. I set my alarm for 6am, determined to get up to help for breakfast in the morning...

You may also like

No comments:

Powered by Blogger.
There was an error in this gadget