Here we go again. Day 13

At this point the days and nights seem to be rolling into one, I will try and recapture most of it...

The day
I watch another movie with Linda in the morning ''A good year'' - where Russell Crowe is an investment banker in London, then when his Uncle passes away he goes to his Chalet in France to check out the property, then of course falls in love with a beautiful french woman - yes another rom  com. But this now has me thinking that as well as my Italian dream, I also want to move to France for a bit, tuck myself away in a little village, learn the language, oh and of course take myself a gorgeous, passionate french lover... Ok lets face it, I just want everything from life! And why not? So many people only dream of ever doing such things, but I am now in a space where anything is possible - and I love it!

Earlier in the week, lets call him Paulo (the manager of the camping site) asked me if I would like to go out to Jesolo one day, which is one of the beach towns of Venice. He offered, saying that he would like to go for a drive as he needs to get out. Now I know, that maybe I shouldn't go, as I have learnt that maybe it is not the best idea to put myself in a position where I am alone with someone. I figure it should be fine though, and how do I say no to getting out of the camping ground - ''no thanks, I'll just sit by the pool by myself...again!''

So we head out, and its nice to be driving around - just casually going for a drive around Venice (sometimes and more often than not at the moment, my life seems so surreal). We go to a bar on the beach and have a beer, and I seriously need to pinch myself, not just because it is gorgeous, but sitting there reflecting over the last few weeks it is crazy to think how much has happened, the amazing people I have met, and just how truly magical it has all been (though there have been some highs and lows). I have to say a massive thank you to the Universe, as I am so grateful for everything that has come about, and have to remember to never take moments such as this for granted.

After our beer, we go to sit on the beach. Paulo starts edging a little closer to me... dam it, here we go again. I am blunt, and explain that we are just friends and I don't want anything (again, hard to explain to someone whose first language is not English), he says 'yes, yes', but still tries getting closer and tells me I am beautiful... I just shuffle over a bit further away from him, and thankfully at this moment dark clouds start rolling over and the wind kicks up, so it is a great excuse to say let's go.

So we head back, but with no more awkward moments (thank god), and on the way back we stop at a florist as Paulo wants a new plant for the restaurant, so I buy Linda another orchid, as she had to leave the other one in Florence. It is a white orchid, and I choose purple paper to wrap it in, Paulo tells me this is the colour of Florence, which seems quite fittig of course.

This colour actually has more meaning to me too, as this was the favourite colour of one of my very good friends who passed away almost 3years ago now. She was the most incredible and beautiful person I have ever met, so this colour reminds me of her beauty and magic, and I would love to send some of this Linda's way for all of her kindness. I also smile inside, because if this is also the colour of Florence, then maybe this is why I loved Florence so much and felt so inspired there - Hannah was definitely there with me, smiling and adding a touch of magic everywhere I went.

The night
Linda asks me what is going on with me and Paulo, I say nothing has happened though he did try to make a pass at me, Linda looks like she doesn't believe me and then just says that 'Italian guys don't just do things for girls ( i.e drive them to Jesolo) for no reason, and that I need to be more careful'. I completely understand this, but also feel a little gutted that she doesn't believe me, also what was I meant to say, it's not like I had any plans, and he just asked me whether I had been, and would like to  go because he was going to go for a drive anyway... ah well. I know I have done nothing wrong.

Later in the night some more TravelX groups come through, and I meet some crew I haven't met before, but of course they all know my story thanks to the good old school yard gossip vine. But again, they all say that they heard that they were sad to lose me ('lose' isn't exactly the word I would use in this situation..), which is nice to hear nonetheless.

Money comes through from my friend, and I finally book my tickets to Istanbul; which goes a way to easing some of the anxiety as I now have a date that I will be leaving and starting my new adventure. I leave in 2  more nights, fly into Turkey on the Thursday, and join a tour on the Saturday - as a passenger, just so I can observe what a tour is like with this company - amazing! No training trip for me - which hopefully means no chance of jeopardising this job...

Along with some of the TravelX crew, one of the trainers from my training trip turns up to visit Linda for his holiday, he was probably one of the nicer trainers, and of course I say hi, and am not rude or awkward towards him.

If there is one thing I have learnt through my life, it is to never burn bridges where possible. Not only is it too much of a waste of energy to harbour bad feelings to someone, but you never know what relationships may be important in the future. Take Linda as a prime example, it was one of the trainers who recommended I get in touch with her, and had I caused I scene or been rude about my dismissal, the last 2 weeks never would have happened.

Though I do feel really bad about one thing, because I am staying with Linda, this trainer has had to book his own accommodation, and here comes the guilt again... Linda doesn't say anything, and I tell her I can book in somewhere, she of course says no its fine, but I sense that I have now truly and officially outstayed my welcome.

Tangent: get your creep on 'the venus fly trap'
A few quiet drinks watching the only 4 girls on the dance floor multiply to 7, and all the while a guy has been standing at the bar by himself with a drink in his hand for the last half hour, just staring. I have never seen anything creepier, and clearly the girls dancing are thinking the same thing...

But slowly, as these girls get drunker and drunker this guy somehow gets more appealing (let me add, that he has still done nothing but stand there and stare). Two girls take it in turns going up to him trying to get him to dance. Hence the venus fly trap! He has literally done nothing, but they are now not only coming up to him, but fighting over him! 

Now while this scene was entertaining to watch for us, it is actually quite scary to think what difference a few drinks can make - this is literally beer goggles at it's best! It also makes me wonder how often I have done something similar... though I can proudly say I have never woken up and wanted to chew my own arm off I guess..

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