I wake up in Italy. Day 1.

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I have always had romantic notions of living in a foreign country and learning the language. I completely fell in love with Italy when I travelled through, so surely the obvious next move is just to move there right?...

Now according to all of my friends this is such a "brave" move, but from now on I might just replace the word "brave" with "stupid" or "reckless"being that: Do I speak Italian? Have a job? Somewhere to stay? Know anyone there? Have any money? (someone thought it would be a good idea to 'live life' and spend all their money before the training trip, as they had a job lined up for the Summer where expenses were covered...ah hind sight, such a beautiful thing you are).

No to all of the above. This is going to be interesting.

So here we are in the present, and I find myself on a plane to Florence. And... oh shit... the air hostess just spoke to me in fluent Italian, after having just spoke to the gentleman in front of me in English. Panic. But maybe this is a good sign - a sign that I look the part and will most likely be speaking fluent Italian within the month (thanks to my "Italian - ideal course for beginners", a.k.a the book for idiots who decide to move to Italy alone, not speaking a word of Italian...)

Now after the history of my tragic relationship patterns, I decide that maybe I should look to reinstating my own set of rules, as I really don't know that I can handle one more whirlwind of change, thanks to a kiss. If I were to have a superpower clearly my kiss would be it - ˝with one kiss she has the power to change the shape of the future for anyone that comes into contact with her lips...'' With this thought in mind I fall hard and fast asleep.

When I wake up in Italy, I look over at the guy sitting next to me and notice for the first time how cute he is... I have a feeling this is because of the seed I planted of reinstating my own rules, the  'eve's apple' effect perhaps... oh dear, this does not bode well for the rest of my trip, I haven't even stepped foot on Italian soil yet and already I am eying up the first guy I see. In saying this though, I have a sneaky suspicion that I am perhaps the most unattractive sleeper ever; having twitched, jolted and most likely slept with my mouth open the entire flight - I feel this was maybe an unconscious self defense mechanism to deter men in every  direction. Now I just need to come up with a similar defense mechanism for when I'm coherent (and also incoherent due to other reasons besides sleep).

I arrive to baggage claims with a slightly crook stomach (I think thanks to the cocktail of nerves, mixed with anxiety, coffee and 2weeks of toxins thanks to the numerous more leaving drinks). This is not the best start to my Italian adventure. It could have gone much worse however, as there was no toilet paper in the cubicle, but thanks to a similar scenario in Romania, I always check these things first now.

So Florence here I am (still no exclamation mark solution). And considering I have been here before, nothing is looking that familiar. Panic. Shit, is this actually the city I wanted to be in? Thanks to the sleep deprived catatonic like state I was in when we came through with the training trip, I must have meandered my way through the city (well I did actually fall asleep on the pavement sitting outside a bank while 'fact finding'), clearly taking not much in. I really should have paid more attention when fact finding the city (not so silly an idea now). But I do manage to find the hostel with apparent ease, and head straight for the pool, deciding that I will deal with the fact that I am not actually on holiday tomorrow.

Quick side note though:
1. I can't believe you guys (my friends) actually let me go through with this, I am generally a walking liability - once again referring you to the history of chaos that is my life

2. I have the most inept ability when it comes to directions, being you could walk me somewhere and 2mins later I would not be able to tell you what direction we came from - which is not exactly ideal when traveling the world alone.

3. I'm a liability

4. I'm an absolute liability and have no idea what I'm doing

p.s. I have just discovered that I did not pack one warm top/jacket for this entire trip. I've somehow managed to come away with 23kg of dresses and bikinis. Where were you for this one girls?? But maybe I have slightly learnt from previous  'adventures', as this time I didn't find myself in a club at 2am, having not packed for a holiday and just making it home in time to have a shower, pack and drunkenly get back in a cab to the airport... So maybe there is hope for me yet.

After lying by the pool for a bit, I spot one of the Managers I met in training. I walk up to her, explain who I am, and am met with a big hug, a kiss and a cold beer. Perfect. Many drinks later and I find myself re-telling my story to every new person that joins us - mostly staff from other tour companies, who all find it hilarious, yet can't believe we actually got kicked off for it. Even this manager thinks it seems a bit of a joke, as she knew people that did the same thing, in front of everyone (not a quick kiss in the dark with no one around before bed) and all they got was a slap on the wrist. There seems to be something else there, and I did hear talk that the trainer who saw us - actually let me replace 'saw us', with 'followed us'..., didn't like this guy's sister, there was some sort of rivalry there, so kicking us off was more personal perhaps...

Ah well, I'm here now, and have a feeling that this kiss might just lead me somewhere good.



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